Dear Delme: a letter about the Canucks

This post is a cross post with my own website.  It’s a follow up to a post/letter/newspaper article that I wrote at the start of the hockey season to my friend Delme who is a die-hard Canucks fan.  Watch the original British version of the film Fever Pitch and simply substitute the Canucks for Arsenal, Trevor Linden for Tony Adams and winning the Premiership foor loosing to the Rangers in the Stanley Cup finals and you’ve got Delme.


When I decided to make the transition to being a Canucks fan I mustadmit I was expecting to be jumping onto a fairly succesful team’sbandwagon. Granted I know they’re never going to win a Cup but reallythe only Canadian team that has any chance of that is the Leafs if theystop trading for the NHL’s oldest players.

Still what I expected was a certain amount of comedy goaltendingmixed with exciting offence, two rounds in the playoffs and the oddstomping of Calgary. I wasn’t expecting Nausland to win scoring titlesor even a serious playoff run, I mean fuck I’m suppoprting a team wherethe loss of Dan Cloutier is considered a “bad thing”, so don’t say I’mbeing unrealistic or only wanting to root for a winner but come on.

It’s interesting that at this point after Marcus the Canucks’highest scorer is Carter a former Oiler. It’s interesting because theCanucks need to be more like the Oilers. They need to play to win everygame as though it were the seventh of the Stanley Cup.

One of the reasons Dallas never established a dynasty of note duringthe 90s’ was because every year in the first round like clockworkthey’d meet Edmonton and while they’d win in six or seven they’d betotally destroyed physically after what amounted to a war on ice.

Anson Carter just scored at the game I’m at to bring the Canuckslevel with the Flames. The team needs Ryan Smyth, someone who would eatyour soul and destroy your family to win. Other than Linden the teamseems too… I don’t know but their attention span isn’t the greatestis it?

They can’t hold a lead like a team of their caliber should and it’snot all Auld’s fault. Now minutes after Carter’s goal it’s 2 – 1 forthe Flames thanks to a defence that on paper should be solid. This isnot the same Flames team that reached the Cup final, they can be beaten.

Delme, dear poor Delme, after a mere few months my sympathy for yourcondition as grown by leaps and bounds. As an Oiler fan I had memories,and Wayne Gretzky who was as close as pro sports ever came to bringingback Jesus because he was incredibly talented and not a total prick(like Bure). As an Oilers fan my team, after the Gretzky trade, wasalways better than they should be for their payroll and the playersthey had.

As a Canucks fan I’ve got a stupid guy in a killer whale suit and a team that should be better than they are.

Delme what have I gotten myself into?

– Jeff Simpson

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