Archive for January, 2006

lululemon porn

So I’m in Oakridge working, and right across the hall from the lululemon store where in the glass display case two obscenely attractive women are doing yoga. It’s quite exciting and at the risk of insulting both my employer and my girlfriend, it makes me want to quit my job and start a career selling yoga pants.

It’s pretty awesome as far as free entertainment is concerned.

*Update/Correction: nay it is very awesome.

The Coldplay Vancouver show

Thanks go out to the Vancouverite [van] for pointing me to the World Wide Water Cooler’s take on the recent Coldplay show in Vancouver [wwwc]. Reading the review justifies my not going, that and the fact that they were charging $1.3 million for each seat, and meshes well with a lot of my views on the band.

I really loved Coldplay’s first album, especially “Yellow” and “Spies”. I liked their second one, though it wasn’t that different than their first, and have never really got into their third because frankly by version 3.0 I’d kind of gotten tired of the whole sub-Joshua Tree sound.

They get compared to U2 alot, though they’re far more commerically minded than U2 were until recently, and certainly far quicker to embrace the mainstream. U2 learned after Rattle and Hum that to stay a great band they needed to continue changing and innovating. Coldplay have yet to recieve the commercial and critical spanking they’re starting to deserve by being boring. (Critics these days are so used to people lipsyncing that the fact the band plays its own guitars blinds them to all other problems). Coldplay needs to reinvent themselves musically, if not image wise. They don’t need to adopt the sunglasses and big tv screens of U2, but at least expand their musical boundaries.

In concert they’re probably a good club act, maybe a small theatre but I couldn’t imagine them being able to fill a stadium with sound at all and apparently I was right.

Foodie : Fusion Food

2006-01-27-GreenLettuce.jpg

So, after “much” discussion about where to get Indian-style Chinese food in the city (see the comments at Matt’s post), I made the executive decision that I (ethnically Chinese person) and my guest (Pakistani girl) would go to Green Lettuce on Kingsway. I even said so in the comments section because that is pretty much how you assure that I end up doing something….

Touted as a “hole in the wall” (HITW) at other reviews, I very nearly drove right by the place on the north side of Kingsway, near Victoria. The room itself isn’t so HITW, but more like a traditional Chinese restaurant in feel, but look closer to see the folding legs of the cloth-clad tables and the fact that half the seats were folding chairs while the remaining half were those really uncomfortable, scratchy, thin-cushioned, metal-legged stock armchairs. Overlook the decor, hence have a HITW, in order to concentrate on food, you’d hope….
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Disappeared for a bit…

I haven’t said anything for a while, and for that I am truly sorry. I moved on January first – today I finally got around to putting my computer back together. Only got the desk together last week. It’s been a slow process. It has certainly been an eventful month for me. The rain has been overwhelming (and I’m told by some locals at least, abnormal.) A couple of weeks ago I was making a left just after the light changed and someone ran the red and hit my car. Naturally, since no one stopped to say they witnessed anything, it was my word against hers – she said it was green, and I was held 100% responsible for not making a safe left turn. January has been a stressful month, but it’s all fine now, and so I’m back.

Early in the month I started a new job in North Vancouver – leaving the one I had downtown – which means that since I now both live and work in North Van, chances are I’ll become one of those people who hardly ever leaves North Van. If I had social things to do in Vancouver proper, I’d go to them, but I rarely do.

On the social side, as a fairly new resident of the Greater Vancouver Area I’ve found it challenging to make new friends. I’m not generally outgoing as it is, but this is the most difficult place I’ve lived yet for finding people I get along with who have the time to actually do things with me. For a laid-back city, it seems to me sometimes that is has far more busy people than I can remember being anywhere else. Come nicer weather, however, I plan to make a concerted effort to get out and meet people. That’s the plan, anyhow. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Sleeping with the Fishes

The Vancouver Aquarium used to have a sleepover party for adults only every February. I can’t remember if it was aimed at singles as another variant on speed-dating. It doesn’t matter because the Seafari of Passion (on Saturday February 11, 2006) is now strictly for couples:

  • Aquatic courtships with leading expert Doctor O. Love.
  • Sushi 101 with a complimentary glass of wine
  • The Aquariums’ unique version of “Do You Know Your Partner?” hosted by Dr. O. Love and his lovely assistant.
  • Cash Bar till bedtime
  • Chocolate Buffet
  • Cheeses of the World
  • Slumber in front of the majestic beluga whales, in the underwater Arctic gallery.
  • A sit-down, white linen Hot Breakfast. (Capitals courtesy of the Vancouver Aquarium marketing department.)
  • Tours of the Marine Mammal Deck and Graham Amazon Gallery

As it is $120 for non-members, I’ll have to pass this year. If anyone has attended or attends Hugs and Fishes, please let us know how it goes.

Remember: even if you wake up with unromantic bedhead and no showers, do not cover your coif with a seal hat in the polar bear viewing area.

Octopus versus B.C. mini-sub

Researchers studying salmon on the Brook Peninsula had their expensive remote controlled mini-sub which they were using in the study of our fishy friends, attacked by a giant Pacific octupus last November and they’re just starting to talk about it now, so horrifying was the experiance [cbc]. No one knows what caused the octopus to attack. “It could have been curious, could have been looking for a meal, could have been looking for a girlfriend,” said Jim Cosgrove of the Royal B.C. Museum.

If octopuses are thinking remote controlled submarines are girlfriend material then they’re either more sexually advanced than we thought, or deserve to be an endangered species (if they’re not already).

Sadly this isn’t quite as interesting as the video of an octopus attacking and killing a shark that’s been circulating on the net for the past few months [ch], it’s a harsh reminder that we should never go swiming while dressed as a mini-submarine or a shark. In fact it’s probably best not to go swiming at all in any body of water larger than a big bathtub.

Move Along: Nothing to see here. . . .

An update from the CBC: “The RCMP say the 12-year-old North Vancouver boy who went missing on Wednesday has been found safe and alone in Richmond – just hours after they asked for public help in finding him. ”

I’m honestly relieved that this was simply an old fashioned case of a kid running away from home for a couple of days to show the parents a thing or two, and that the boy is fine and back home.

It’s also a good thing nobody jumped to any crazy false conclusions like sexually predatory child molesters in New Hampshire and illegal border crossings by a minor and evil Xboxes that allow kids to chat with perverts or any of those kinds of things. Because now that the kid is back home safe, it might look like the understandable worries of a concerned mother had somehow been reported as Hard Facts by the city’s news organizations, and those organizations would look pretty stupid.

Just sayin’.

Would the Real Science World Please Stand Up

Science World, the aluminum foil golfball blip on everyone’s radar when out-of-town guests come knocking, now has three aliases!

Pick up a flyer from the science and technology museum these days and take your pick of three names: Science World, Science World British Columbia and TELUS World of Science.

It makes sense to me to use the shorter name on the front page of their flyer (which in this case is the one for Extra Large Shorts), but inside the flyer, they revert to Science World British Columbia.

I googled Science World. There was Science World at the top of the page. Nothing amiss. Then I picked up the Extra Large Shorts flyer again and found a different website, www.telusworldofscience.com/vancouver. Going to www.telusworldofscience.com instead of the specifically Vancouver site, I discovered two other TELUS Worlds of Sciences, one in Calgary and the other in Edmonton. Huh? I didn’t know Science World was a franchise. Or perhaps TELUS is buying up sponsorship honours from science museums?

The link to the Vancouver TELUS World of Science diverted traffic back to the original Science World site.

Just as interesting is the links Science World chooses – they’re very well hidden under General Information, then About Science World. No mention of the Vancouver Maritime Museum, one of my favourite museums in the GVRD, while its neighbours, the H.R. MacMillan Space Centre and the Vancouver Museum get linked. Also interesting is that the Vancouver Aquarium has done a name change too, to the Vancouver Aquarium and Marine Science Centre.

Science World, by the way, once had other names: Extended I, during its days as a homeless exhibition that made its way around the Lower Mainland from 1977 to 1982, and the Arts, Sciences & Technology Centre, when it found a home at Granville and Dunsmuir, from January 15, 1982 until the 1988 inauguration of the old Expo Centre as the new Science World.

Our province’s wish list from the new federal government

The CBC’s site has an article about the things that the provincial Liberal government will be wanting from their like-minded friends now moving into the good offices in Parliment [cbc]. However I think it’s important that we look at what the provincial government should really be asking for.

– federal tax relief on Ben Affleck’s hooker and booze bills: The Paycheck star has spent a lot of time in Vancouver both filming and getting away from first one Jennifer and then another. As a man of considerable errr… tastes… Affleck probably has a high bill for lesuire and high taxes too. In order to help the Vancouver film industry the provincial government should be asking to have Affleck’s, and other high profile Hollywood stars, hooker and coke tabs be GST free. Whether the stars want to spend it on hookers and coke, is up to them.

– a new name: the B.C. Liberal party needs to be rebranded the B.C. Conservative Party, since that’s what they really are. I don’t know what sort of smoke screen magic show they pulled off convincing voters that the Liberals in Ottawa and the Liberals in Victoria equalled each other but now that the Conservatives are in power federally the B.C. Liberals might want to drop the Crystal Pepsi act.

– a new name #2: British Columbia. Haven’t we broken ties with England yet? Shouldn’t we rename the province to something that suits us a bit better than some old notion of royal ties? Fantasy Gardens is taken, but how about Awesometopia? Or Washington State North? Or Trevor Linden?

– federal subsidies for the old and cranky population of the Okanagan: Seriously the entire area is filled with an extra-ordinary level of old and cranky people, more so even than Victoria. This is what gives the Conservatives their base of support in BC, and what keeps BC from ever winning the hippest province contest at the first minister’s meetings every year. The federal government should introduce soft-easy-to-chew food tax relief and force the CRTC to create a 24 hour Matlock channel.

– Skytrains to my front door: Where ever I move in Vancouver I’d like a Skytrain station right to my front door. Okay I’ll be reasonable, I’ll accept one a block away but no more. The provincial government should be asking for funding for this.

– Skytrain security: While I’m on the subject of the Skytrains have you noticed that there’s nobody guarding the Skytrains? Couldn’t a terrorist over power the driver and fly one of those things into a skyscrapper? We should have Canadian Army troops guarding them 24/7.

– kissing booths: How about we lower GST and open up federally run kissing booths to make up for the loss in federal funding. Some cute girls, some metrosexual boys and we’ve got a revenue source.

Harper v Bush administration: a lover’s tiff

Our new Prime Minister Stephen Harper, the man who wrote a letter of apology to American newspapers when Canada didn’t join in invading Iraq to stop the weapons of mass destruction, has already started a kerfuffle with the US on his first week on the job. Despite continually criticizing the Liberals’ poor relations with the Republicans in Washington Harper’s picked on the scab of Artic sovereignty.

One of Harper’s more bizarre campaign promises was the promise to assert Canada’s sovereignty over the Artic, promising to spend over $5.3 billion to make sure that nobody ever forgets that Canada controls the coldest uninhabitable streches of ice water on earth. According to the CBC [cbc] Harper’s plans to protect the north against the Americans, Russians and Danes will require “the construction and deployment of three new armed heavy icebreaking ships, as well as the eventual construction of a $2-billion deepwater port in Iqaluit and an underwater network of ‘listening posts.'”

I’m not a fan of Bush, nor cosey relations with the US when it means sending troops into foreign countries, but I’d suggest Harper pick his battles. Why the heck do we want to spend billions of dollars making sure that polar bears are a Canadian animal instead of a Danish one?

Mark my words, someone thinks there’s oil up there or else we wouldn’t be going through this rigamarole.

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