Old people and malls
I think old people come to malls just to make sure they’re still alive. I’m pretty sure they all head to Starbucks and try to buy a coffee and if the clerk wants $4 they know they are still alive, because surely in heaven coffee only costs a nickle like it used to, and so then they make a nearly rude comment and wander off to a fast food joint which sells coffee for less and gives free refils.

