A Letter

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28 February 2006

Douglas,

It was so great to catch your reading last night with Chuck Palahniuk. At the end of the night, however, you seemed a little . . . down, and we didn’t even see you leave the auditorium. We, your friends and fans, are worried that maybe you got the wrong idea.

Sure, the line of people to see Chuck was a bit longer. And I think people may have bought more of Chuck’s books at the book table. Perhaps we aimed a few more questions Chuck’s way during the discussion. And the books-made-into-movies discussion was more his territory, you have to admit.

But look at it this way:

Hardly a person who was sitting in that auditorium last night doesn’t have a bent-cover copy of Life After God sitting on a shelf at home somewhere. We’ve given countless copies of City of Glass as gifts to out of town relatives, and finally gave in and bought one for ourselves as well.

We’re even running out of books for you to sign. When the newspaper says you’re going to be at Chapters on Robson, or doing a talk somewhere, we put it on our calendar. We’re there.

And we could have brought one of our unsigned books with us, if not . . . well . . . first off we forgot to bring them, but even if we hadn’t, we gave away Hey, Nostradamus! to a best friend, saying, “You’ve got to read this — this is awesome.” Our copy of Generation X looks too tattered to be seen with in public. And we still can’t get that flaky coworker to give back Miss Wyoming.

If somehow there had been pre-release copies of JPod for sale last night, you would have been signing copies in droves. We hope your signing hand is ready for us this May. Consider that fair warning.

So, at any rate, we hope you didn’t interpret the warm first-time-visitor reception we gave Chuck as anything more than it was. And if they host a reading for you down in Portland anytime soon, and they aren’t equally as friendly, well, perhaps it’s high time we load up a bus, drive the whole lot of us down there, dress up in red and yellow clown suits, and kick some crunchy Oregonian ass.

Your friends,

The Generation whom you gave an identity . . . in the city that loves you.

(. . . and who will never look at Ronald McDonald the same way again after last night, I imagine. . . .)

3 Comments so far

  1. Courtney (unregistered) on February 28th, 2006 @ 2:50 pm

    It was a great event wasn’t it? I saw you guys there last night but didn’t call out because, you know, I’ve only ever met you once. :)


  2. Jeffery Simpson (unregistered) on February 28th, 2006 @ 3:40 pm

    Damn, I would have liked to see that. I heart Douglas way more than Chuck. I actually wasn’t a big Fight Club fan anyway.


  3. Emma (unregistered) on March 4th, 2006 @ 10:53 am

    Great letter, Matt!



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