Common Sense Rules of Vancouver #0001 – Sidewalk Etiquette
Earlier this week we had a smattering of various different kinds of Vancouver weather. We had the “Vancouver Seasons Sampler”, a blend of the glorious Sun of Summer, the eerie Cold of Fall, the disheartening Rain of Winter, and that fresh, just-had-rain Scent of Spring.
It became apparent, from my travels in downtown Vancouver, that now is the time to refresh our memories by jumping into the first installment of:
Common Sense Rules of Vancouver
Common Sense Rule of Vancouver # 0001 – Sidewalk Ettiquette
When using an umbrella, there is always a tendency towards solipsism. The rain is pounding, the streets are wet, and, dammit, you are going to get to work on-time, and dry, thanks to your trusty umbrella. Just like your months spent in the womb, you are safe, warm, and you don’t give a damn about anyone outside of your little bubble of happiness and safety.
So you venture onto the sidewalk where you encounter a bloke like me, who takes the rain on his head and couldn’t care less about whether he gets wet. Years spent in the rainfall capital of North America have engendered a complete and total apathy towards all things liquid that fall from the sky. And there we meet, sharing the sidewalk, on our respective pedestrian commutes.
Now, Rule #0001 would seem to be that, if there is an overhang where one could stay dry, and you yield the advantage of having this wonderful umbrella, any reasonable person would wield the dry region to the person who is sans-umbrella, rather than, say, poking them in the head as you refuse to yield your goddamn spot.
So Common Sense Rule of Vancouver #0001 reads as follows
Thou shalt not, whilst holding an umbrella in an open and upright position, taketh the selfish and ignorant path and stay close to the building or overhang.
Thou shalt, instead, yieldeth said coveted dry spot to those less fortunate. The umbrellaless denizens of Vancouver. Doing so entitles thou to utilize the title of Reasonable Person (See Below)
Thank you for your attention to this matter