Common Sense Rules of Vancouver #0002 – Skytrain Platform Etiquette

Common Sense rules of Vancouver #0002 – Skytrain Platform Etiquette

There are two types of Skytrain riders in this city. Those who take the skytrain because there is nothing to do, so they wander in and out of the trains, seeing all there is to see, and indulging in their eccentricities (or mental illnesses, as it were).

The other type comprises about 98% of the rest of the Skytrain user population….

The other type comprises about 98% of the rest of the Skytrain user population, the “I don’t want to ride the Skytrain, but I am riding for the following reason….” crowd. They could be going shopping downtown and don’t want to pay for parking. They could be university students enjoying the study time on a slowly-moving light-rail train. They could be the business commuter, the construction worker, the Starbucks clerk, all heading to work. They could even be the “I love the Skytrain because I am an environmentalist and I don’t believe in cars.” crowd.

One thing is certain. In the aforementioned group, the process of the Skytrain visit is clear.

  1. Get on
  2. Get to where you’re going
  3. Get the hell off

So what could be more infuriating than those who wish to impede this holy and sanctified process?

And who would dare interfere with the sacred rite of the Skytrain ride?

Perhaps the most nefarious group to infiltrate the Skytrain:

The Door Crowders

The concept is simple. Door opens. People exit. Then, and only then, can you enter. The Skytrain door is like a valve, allowing people in only after others have exited. The Skytrain door is not like the stomach of a bulemic, allowing to-ing and fro-ing at will. It is a holy and special place with codified rules, not unlike the Vatican.

So, rule #0002 would seem to be that the Skytrain door is sacred, like the door of a house of worship. Treat it with respect.

Common Sense Rule of Vancouver #0002 reads as follows

Thou shalt not, while awaiting the arrival of the Skytrain, block, stand, or crowd near the door in anticipation of gaining access to the beloved commuter vehicle.

Thou shalt, instead, yield the right of way to those exiting said Skytrain, and only enter once the door is clear, and those exiting are on their merry way. Doing so entitles thou to utilize the title of Reasonable Person (See Below)

Read Common Sense Rules of Vancouver #0001. Please.

3 Comments so far

  1. maikopunk (unregistered) on August 23rd, 2006 @ 7:36 pm

    Might I add, as a daily SkyTrain commuter, that nothing bad will happen to you if you move into the car, away from the doors, once onto the train. Nothing is going to swallow you up if you move down the aisle a bit. C’mon Vancouver, I dare ya! Get in there so the we can get in and out a little easier. (Thise rule is easier to follow on the Expo Line. The Millenium Line cars have nothing for riders to hold onto.)

  2. Flash (unregistered) on August 24th, 2006 @ 2:56 pm

    I learned this rule as a little kid; except when my mother was teaching it to me, it was with regards to elevators. Unfortunately, it seems few users of either vertical or horizontal transportation know it anymore.

    Can I propose rule number #0003, also carefully taught to me by my mother but now even more important as more is crammed into stores? When in today’s supermarket aisles that have been precisely measured to be two shopping carts wide plus three inches; park your cart against the edge when stopping! Stopping includes those periods when you are remaining at the cart; I can’t get by you any better whether you’ve just abandoned your cart in the middle of the aisle or if you are standing obliviously in the middle with your cart .

    A sub-rule would be; when you run into someone you know going the opposite direction, park your carts rather than keeping them side-by-side while you spend 10 minutes catching up on the last 2 years of your lives.

  3. Ariadna (unregistered) on August 28th, 2006 @ 12:49 pm

    Around grade ten it was cool to hang around the back door of the bus and try your best not to hold on to anything but balance yourself all cool-like against the middle post.

    When someone is in my way I tap them on the shoulder and ask them if they’re getting off. If they say ‘no’ they usually make the connection and move away. And if they don’t I tell them they’re in the way – sometimes nicely and sometimes really fucking nasty.

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