Don’t drink Dave Matthews’ water, he’s pissed off about it
Oh and as I told you last night don’t drink the water in Vancouver either [mbv]. The rain, rain and more rain from yesterday has put tiny microscopic demons in our water which will try to steal your soul if you ingest them. Boil the water first, because they hate the heat, it reminds them of Hell, to be safe and keep your soul pure.
Our city’s brown demon water can be used for other things, like washing your clothing, your dog, drowning mice and putting out the fires. Things not to use it for, well there’s drinking as I said, drowning people, washing your comic book collection and as currency. But remember you heard it here first, from a guy who heard from a guy who told someone who overheard it on the bus… Anyway it’s not official, the City even has admitted it’s got demons in our water, and until we get a special task force of Priests from the Vatican to rid us of this evil we shouldn’t be drinking the water.
Demon water. Spooky.
Update: Most resturants seem to be serving bottled water as opposed to fountain pops. You’d think they’d have a priest on staff for this sort of thing. Also unlike I said before you can NOT use the water to wash your food.
They just closed the washrooms @ work on our floor *only*. Apparently the stuff on floors 1-14 is much better/safer for some reason.
Well, everyone could just temporarily dip into their water stores from their disaster emergency kit. I mean, everyone’s long had their disaster emergency prepared, right? What with living in an earthquake zone and all. A short-term storm, power outages, and brown water is–or should be–nothing.
I’ve got a two day supply thanks to one of those Brita Water filter things that I keep filled up in the fridge. That’s about the extent of my emergency prep.
Erm…you CAN’T wash vegetables with the demon water…like the part you highlighted on the document says…
Update: The ban’s been lifted in most GVRD communities except the North Shore, Vancouver and Burnaby [CBC]