Mutant Toy Workshop

Checking out our sister annoying little brother inbred cousin neighbouring city’s 7 gifts (coffee, art, cupcakes), I came across this, nestled among the Santarchy stuff:

Santa Ivan says it’s, “that special time of year when Santa’s helpers gather to rend, tear, saw, cut, fold, spindle and otherwise mutilate boring old toys, then patch, splice, glue, hammer, nail, sew and seal them back together in MUTANTOUS COMBINATIONS! The wonderful, twisted toyspawn that result are then thrust into the glad hands of HIDEOUS CHILDREN and DRUNKEN FRAT BOYS during Santarchy.

If you are coming, BRING: toys, tools, pornography (for frat boys only), power tools, hot glue, staple guns, stuffed animals, sewing kits, and more toys. (Buy them by the baggie at Value Village.)”

Mutant toys? Communal toy frankensteinization? I wish I wasn’t working on Wednesday nights or my deformed toy-loving heart would be there. Therefore, a plea to our local craft collectives – Seamrippers? Blim? Some unknown gallery in New Westminster about to come on everyone’s radar? – please start Vancouver’s own mutant toy workshop! (Suggestion: when you do it, play that 60s Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in the background – love that yeti.)

2 Comments so far

  1. Jonathon Narvey (unregistered) on November 29th, 2006 @ 4:38 pm

    This actually sounds like a pretty good idea for an all-year round business. Toy companies could just take parts from all their different toys that haven’t been assembled yet, put them in a box with some glue and let kids (or adults) do what they do.

  2. maktaaq (unregistered) on December 4th, 2006 @ 4:27 pm

    That is a very good idea…a mutant toy shop for sick and twisted kids. Where were these things when Leatherface was a kid?

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