The Spice Girls in Vancouver: review
There is a certain philosophy of music criticism that would argue that reviewing a Spice Girls concert is sort of like doing a foodie review of McDonald’s, that the product on display is so pre-packaged, manufactured and predictable that it would be a pointless exercise. Having gone to the girls’ tour kick-off last night at GM Place I figured it was for the best that I did, and allowed the review to act either as an apocalyptic warning driving some away from future tour dates, or for some or a siren’s call for others enticing them towards the shallows to catch the last gasp of the 1990s’.
Think of the things we have now that did not exist at the height of the Spice Girls popularity, before their long breakup that their record label struggled against following the departure of Geri Halliwell. We have iPods, Wikipedia, The War In Iraq II, September 11th, lol cats, cellular telephones with tiny cameras in them, the word “blog” and Paris Hilton. The Spice Girls meanwhile have been frozen in carbonite, ready to be unleashed again when the moment is right.
Or maybe not frozen in carbonite, though career wise they might as well have been. Instead they’ve been having babies, sleeping with Eddie Murphy, marrying footballers, “acting”, helping the United Nations, releasing solo albums and engaging in ridiculous reality television shows. It’s hard out there for a C-list celebrity, especially when as a group they attract A-list crowds and sell out stadiums with the sort of regularity as an act with eight times their back catalogue.
Which brings us to last night, the first show on their reunion tour at Vancouver’s GM Place and the night where tens of thousands of screaming girls went to see their former heroes (without their parents this time). The thirteen year olds for whom “Girl Power” had been more than a slogan on posters had grown ten years and largely seemed to have embraced the new girl power of Paris Hilton and her ilk.
The audience might have been older, but apparently the Spice Girls thought that their fans still had a curfew of 10 pm. The doors opened at 7:30, the show started at 8 and was in the can by 9:45. This is the sort of stunning efficiency that America’s army in Iraq has been missing. I must admit I did like the fact that there was never any question of whether or not there would be an encore, the show just rolled along barely pausing for a moment to breath. This actually is an improvement over most shows where the act makes a big production of pretending there’s not going to be an encore while they have a smoke and then surprise there’s an encore.
What can I say about the show itself? It’s back to reviewing Chicken McNuggets, but you know what, I do like the odd trip to McDonald’s. Nobody is going to call this great music, classic earth changing music, any more than someone is going to call the Teletubbies great drama, and yet it’s fun. Sure when these songs were popular and preventing the new U2 video from appearing on Much Music (remember when Much Music played music?) I’d curse out “Wannabe” but with enough distance I could settle in and enjoy the show.
They might not be artists, but the Spice Girls are clearly performers. Less a concert and more a musical with no plot, the girls were backed by session performers and pre-recorded music loops. What to make of the barely clad male dancers who seem five years and a few hours in a gym away from being part of The Thunder Down Under? What to make of the extended sequence where the backing band covered other people’s songs while various Spice Girls walked around? What to make of the medley of disco tunes whose choruses the Spice Girls gleefully shouted at the audience?
Better not to think about it and enjoy the hits. The hits where there, and with such a shallow back catalogue most everyone’s favorite songs were performed, and they hit every mark and every note. At times their pre-scripted banter was lost due to poor acoustics and an overly trebled mix, and they often stepped on each others lines. Yet I don’t think anyone noticed, they were too busy screaming like extras in The Beatles’ movie A Hard Day’s Night. Except with more glitter.
A bad review isn’t going to sink McDonald’s and a good review isn’t what Raymond Kroc’s company needs to be successful. The Spice Girls aren’t an undiscovered gem of a band eking out a living playing every night at the Cobalt. They’re a global brand and what I say about them, good or bad, is not going to stick. Before you got this far you most likely already had your mind made up about the Spice Girls, and nothing I’ve said or could have said would have changed it.
Still you could do worse than catching them live. It’s not a great concert, but it’s a heck of a performance.
SpiceGirls SportySpice ScarySpice PoshSpice GingerSpice Vancouver GMPlace
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your review although clever, I think is wrong. I have no idea how old you are but, I was at the concert last night and I thought it was the most spactacular show I have ever seen, but for a guy who isn’t a fan of any sort of pop or 90’s music, of course isnt going to care much for it. I myself am into indie music, but I will always have a soft spot for the spoce girls, no matter who you are or where your from, that was an amazing show, with awesome tunes.
I think my review was as positive as I could be. Let’s face it the show was well done and very professional, enjoyable even, but I’m not about to call it great music. And I enjoy pop music, and the 90s’ gave me my favorite albums of all time.
I tend to like music regardless of who else likes it, I’m far past caring what’s fashionable, so this isn’t about protecting any indie cred. Still there’s something to be said about writing and performing your own music that does take something away from the Spice Girls. Night after night the Spice Girls are going to put on a great show, in the same way that an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical is going to be a good show, but there’s never really going to be brilliant.
I’ve seen U2 play shitty shows, and brilliant shows. I’ve seen Matthew Good play so-so shows, and shows that were unbelievable. I saw Modest Mouse play the worst concert I’ve ever been to. I’ve seen Nine Inch Nails play an okay show, and an absolutely amazing show.
I get the feeling that if I were to follow the Spice Girls around on tour I’d see no terrible shows, and no brilliant shows. Just like I know that if I go to McDonald’s I’m going to like my Nuggets, but I’m not going to be amazed by them. Even if I eat at the fancy one in Kerrisdale.
I too was at the “show” last night and I agree with your review. Comparing this with a music concert is like comparing chalk and cheese. It is a great show. The finale with the ticker tape was quite a sight to behold. Who do you think you are (ginger in that dress) was quite amazing. It is a great show. But cutting edge music it is not. I had a first rate night, I was singing Spice Girls hits all night - but its not life changing!
A spot on review. A great nights fun, a great show spoiled only by GM Place’s awful sound acustics.
But of course the important question is whether it was close enough for Christmas for them to do their (remarkably good) cover of “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses?
Although I haven’t met Jeffery Simpson yet, I am astounded that he attended this concert! JS a Spice Girls fan? I had no idea!
Now then Jeffrey, most of your review sounded highly plausible except you mention “when as a foursome they attract A-list crowds”. Were you really there or is your Math just bad?
My math is shcokingly bad. I’ve edited that, thanks for the heads up.
So every one is entitled to their opinion and I appreciate and respect your review. I myself am a huge Spice Girls fan of all stages of their careers, I found the show highly entertaining and a great representation of what the Spice Girls represent, Girl Power and positivity!
I guess you have to be a True Spice Girl fan to understand the show and every symbolic thing that was displayed in Viva Forever, the solos, Holler and Let Love Lead The Way signifying Geri’s departure and return. I do agree that the Spice Girls Music Isn’t Life Changing but Its Great Popular music and always will be.
There are few artists who can release an album that can release an album in which every song has potential to be a great singl… their albums can. No they are not to be compared with Whitney voice or with Janet’s dancing but they are the one and only Spice Girls. They entertained in the 90’s and they did so at the reunion and will for the rest of the tour.
So every one is entitled to their opinion and I appreciate and respect your review. I myself am a huge Spice Girls fan of all stages of their careers, I found the show highly entertaining and a great representation of what the Spice Girls represent, Girl Power and positivity!
I guess you have to be a True Spice Girl fan to understand the show and every symbolic thing that was displayed in Viva Forever, the solos, Holler and Let Love Lead The Way signifying Geri’s departure and return. I do agree that the Spice Girls Music Isn’t Life Changing but Its Great Popular music and always will be.
There are few artists who can release an album that can release an album in which every song has potential to be a great singl… their albums can. No they are not to be compared with Whitney voice or with Janet’s dancing but they are the one and only Spice Girls. They entertained in the 90’s and they did so at the reunion and will for the rest of the tour.