Vancouver’s pet crazy

Vancouver Dog Rules

Originally uploaded by Jeffery Simpson.

Vancouver likes its pets, but for fuck’s sake we’ve gone too far. I work in a mall and last weekend I was dealing with a man with what I at first assumed was a stuffed parrot on his shoulder. The stuffed parrot turned out to be a real live one, and the hour I dealt with the man has entered into my top ten list of least enjoyable experiances ever.

I’m not saying don’t have a parrot as a pet. Whatever, you want to have a loud squaky feathered creature that shouts and poops, then that’s your choice, but don’t inflict it on the rest of us. Leave it at home, or walk it in a park but don’t bring it to a mall.

I spent the entire half an hour with the parrot smacking me in the head with its wings. Then because malls are packed with children and parrots are apparently children magnets, children would come up to the parrot and try to touch it like they were at a petting zoo, at which point the parrot would whip around and try to bite them squawking loudly. The bird’s owner would then whip around and shout at the kids, “It’s not okay to touch him!” This happened at least once every ten minutes.

It was one of the low points in my life, and I’ve had a wide variety of low moments.

So please, dogs, cats, parrots, bats, lizards… whatever your cuddly little friend is please remember he/she is probably not that cuddly and friendly through someone else’s eyes.

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