Vancouver Five: Ways to fix the Canucks

With the NHL trade deadline approaching 24 Hours asked what would you do as GM [tfh]. Don’t worry if that link doesn’t work, apparently permalinks are still a mystery to some people, because I have the five things the Canucks need to do to win the it all this season.

5) Move to WHL: Being relegated down a league is a what happens to crappy teams in European soccer (football) leagues, why not the NHL? I really think the Canucks stand a chance of beating the Kelowna Rockets this season.

4) Bring back Brian Burke: Down in Anaheim he’s proving that he knows how to build a winning hockey team almost as well as Emilio Estevez. Think about how successful he would in a city where the crowd didn’t spend the entire game on their BlackBerries blogging about the Yahoo/Google merger. Oh, wait…

3) New rule nobody sleeps with the starting goalie’s wife: This will include the goalie himself as well as anyone else on his team. Seriously we lose all of our best goalies that way.

2) Give Trevor Linden steroids: The Trevor Linden we had in 1994 would have won us a Cup by now. This one is old and slow. I’m sorry but while I love him like a father I’ve never met and who pays no child support, he’s just not the player he was. I’ve had to rule out time travel, so made a dangerous regime of body enhancing drugs might work. Couldn’t hurt… much.

1) Change uniforms again: If the team’s not going to be able to sell jerseys based on how they’re playing on ice at least they could screw their fans over a bit more by making us all buy new tops yet again.

1 Comment so far

  1. Guillaume (unregistered) on February 9th, 2008 @ 12:53 pm

    I have one thing to say:

    Go Habs Go !!

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